Tuesday, June 28, 2011

why can't i be you?

so much goes through my head everyday, so much that doesn't belong in my head. namely, other peoples business. i am nosy by nature (duh, i am a williams, we all are extremely nosy). in my mind, i figure i probably should know what goes on with everyone else... even if i don't know them. the thing is, i legitimately care about others people business. i probably should have been some sort of therapist. i am that concerned {side note: after months of therapy myself, i have often mulled over the thought of going into that line of work once my kids have grown}. i want to hear it all and i also want to help where i can. i love hearing about peoples struggles and about peoples joys. i love it... all. i think that is probably why i love the blogging world so much. i get to be nosy. i'll say it, I LOVE BLOGS. if you have one, i've probably read it. it's my #1 hobby.

anyway... the problem arises when i get busy in my little mind comparing myself to all of you wonderfully fabulous other bloggers. turns out, i do that a lot. i can never seem to measure up to everyone else.
like, currently...

why the crap am i one of the mom's that doesn't loose her baby weight in a timely fashion, especially when nursing. i mean that was one of the main reasons i didn't give up in those first few miserable weeks. vain? yes. true? absolutely. i want to be a skinny.

why i am not more crafty in my "free" time. i really should be making greta darling frocks and making my home more adorable.

why is my house a mess, ALL.THE.TIME? i mean, if i could get in with the cool organizing crowd that would be real nice.

why can't i be more productive in my 24 hours?

why aren't my kids doing _______ ?

why am i not doing a ragnar or a triathlon? is it too late to jump on that bandwagon?

shouldn't i be some sort of homemaking goodess?



blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.... right?
it's a general "why can't i be you?" type of attitude and it won't do.
blogging is all too much to handle, sometimes.


so i take a deep breath. turn off the computer. smoosh my babies. vent to trevan. and BREATHE.

i am okay.
and
i will be okay.

i am everything to 3 babies and one handsome man.

today, that is enough.

i.am.me.

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21 comments:

  1. Daniel, Sara and DmitriJune 29, 2011 at 2:03 AM

    Uhh... no joke, I ask myself ALL of that - daily.

    I swear, I feel like the only person who GAINS weight AFTER the baby comes! Ugh!!

    Secondly... what is this triathlon craze right now? I think I know at least 12 woman, that have done one in the past year. Gross.

    And I think I might win for messiest house. Sigh. Dmitri sets me up for clean house failure, daily.

    And here I sit tonight, looking for new blogs to stalk. It seems most my friends have been taking month long blogging hiatus'. I need fresh blood.

    ReplyDelete
  2. bj+anne+brody+macieJune 29, 2011 at 4:39 AM

    I have always wished I had the guts to pull off cool hair like you do and be as funky as you are...if that makes any difference.
    love the honesty and EVERYONE feels this way-even if they don't say it

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  3. AubreyBJune 29, 2011 at 6:30 AM

    I don't think you realize that people look at you all the time and want to be just like you, because you are pretty amazing. Even if you don't realize it, you are. :)

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  4. jayni & benJune 29, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    i think you are amazing. you are funny as crap. and i love that you are so real on your blog. everyone struggles. and i bet there are a lot of people that wish they were more like you. and could make cute freaking babies like you.

    oh and the baby weight... i totally breast fed to loose weight too. didn't help at all. i thought i was going to be a hot momma. skinny with big boobs. NOPE. after a year i am still trying to loose weight and i have pancake boobs. woot woot. but my baby is worth it!!

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  5. WhitneyJune 29, 2011 at 8:33 AM

    Can I tell you how excited I was when I saw the link on my blog that you updated. Not everyone's blog does that for me.

    Also, you use the word "frock" in everyday life which pleases me greatly.

    Being the only person your baby wants (even if it is only for your boobs, appealing or not) is so incredibly more gratifying than being a skinny. My husband likes a little something something to hold on to (yes, my summer squash boobs or whatever is lopping over my pants), so skinny is not an option in our house.

    I can't wait to see your babies next week. Whew, I had to make sure I wrote "babies" and not "boobies." :)

    Love you.

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  6. .June 29, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    Werid! sometimes I wonder why I can't be you. I can't believe you want to be sombody else. My sister showed me your blog, she found it and thought you were so cool and now so do I!

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  7. rachel garberJune 29, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    I used to read your five questions blog and LOVED it and sometimes read this one as well. I'm so glad I found this post because lately I've been thinking the SAME. THING. I love blog reading, all kinds of blog reading. Then I feel like I don't measure up to anything or why, why, why?

    Well said.

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  8. AnonymousJune 29, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Ragnar is dumb. So are marathons. (But I am proud of you Whitney!!)
    Every photo I have of my children growing up has an ironing board in the background with laundry waiting to be ironed PILED at least a foot high! 30 years later, it's still the same!! Why sew frocks when they are so cute at the store? You are blessed. You are loved just how you are right now. And I am hugging you right now. BJ in AZ

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  9. Todd and JennJune 29, 2011 at 11:36 PM

    You don't know me, but I just wanted to tell you that I think you are one talented and amazing person and mom. I've read your blog for a while and one time years ago I walked into Naartjie and I saw you working. I didn't know you worked there, but I felt like a stalker since I recognized you from your blog. Ha ha. I walked straight out.

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  10. BobJune 30, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    You can be like me... Start with the wood floors...

    ReplyDelete
  11. NicJune 30, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    It is really surprising to hear this from you - I knew who you were in school and always thought your were the coolest person - so pretty. I have always loved your hair. It sucks to feel this way - I know that I find myself envying lots of other bloggers - and I get so depressed and feel like I am a slacker I am lazy and not as good as other people. It really sucks. You are awesome and your kids are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AubreyJune 30, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    i am hoping for the same result from nursing...so far...nothing. Hmmm, you'd think by baby #5 i would have learned my leason that i eat like a FREAKIN COW when I am nursing! Heck, i have had a baby stuck to my boobs for like 9 years - you'd think i would be a stick by now!:)

    anyway, I LOVE LOVE LOVE you (even though i NEVER see your hot mama face anymore!) You are amazing, and so are your babies! We ALL feel this way, i promise!

    ReplyDelete
  13. AngelaJune 30, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Hello,

    Well, I found your blog through another friend's friend's blog and I have followed it since, well, a long while. I wish I had the guts to do my hair and clothes just like you. Though you concentrate on your kids a lot on your blog, I always check to see what you're wearing in your pictures. lol. I'm pregnant with my first child and I hope that I can get into my blog and start detailing all about it as much as you have with your little ones.

    Thanks,
    Angela

    ReplyDelete
  14. emilyJuly 1, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    Seriously? Stop that right now! See how many people love you? You are pretty amazing. I think we as women do this to ourselves. I do the same thing. In fact, I've had to stop reading some blogs because they just don't make me feel good about myself, at no fault of their own. I think you are pretty great. And we don't even know eachother! Heavenly Father made us all different on purpose. How boring would it be if we all looked and acted the same? Gross! So embrace your beautiful self and give yourself more credit. You are who YOU are. And that's why people love you.
    Emily B.
    Valerie's cousin, P.S. bytheway.

    ReplyDelete
  15. kennanJuly 1, 2011 at 1:24 AM

    you all are nice.

    thanks for liking me, i like you too.

    and bob we have REAL wood floors.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Kerri HardinJuly 1, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    I'd love you to check out my little blog...www.hardinpartyof4.blogspot.com. Both my kids have Ataxia Telangiectasia. Love reading your blog, it's so fun & real. And, totally agree with this post...I always compare myself to other moms, I guess we all do it!

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  17. Lucky to be the momJuly 2, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    So...one time in one of my counseling sessions I realized that I felt like I had to be the best of everyone I know - everyone has their weak spot but that's not ever what I focused of...I was supposed to be all the good they were and more! If felt good to let go of all that pressure and enjoy my friend's strengths without needing to match them.

    You're kids are so beyond adorable! I wish you could see my kids read about your kids! How is Grets doing with baby Ezra?

    Hats off to you for nursing the little munchkin even though it means you get to hang on to some mommy fluff. It makes you softer to cuddle with :)

    I love you. I always will :)

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  18. JillJuly 2, 2011 at 11:07 PM

    I think we all do this. And I've finally gotten to where I don't let myself read blogs everyday like I used to. It makes me WAY too hard on myself.

    Also, I am not a skinny either. My daughter will be 6 months old on Monday and I swear I still look 5 months pregnant.

    Sigh.

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  19. Miss BearJuly 4, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    I have been asked 2 times recently if I am expecting again....which I am not. Little sir is almost 18 months...so don't feel stressed about the baby weight!!

    Love you girl, you are perfect just the way you are!!

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  20. trevanJuly 5, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    I'm glad you're not them. I love who you are.

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  21. Stacey SargentJuly 25, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    oh kennan I do the exact same thing. I love and hate blogging at the same time. I have found so many great friends and so on and so forth because of blogging, but I feel like I have also become more insecure...in the beginning it was even worse...I compared myself so much. I am getting better, but I also don't read as many blogs anymore. It is a weird sad world.

    But you are gorgeous and talented and the funniest person I know and with three gorgeous kiddos!!

    ReplyDelete

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