jude is turning 6 next week... i know, i know unbelievable that he is 6, but that's not the reason for this post. the reason is, all first born wants for his birthday is a Nintendo DSi. jude's mind is made up, and that is what he wants. DONE and DONE. i am sick over it. i mean, duh, of course i bought him a special edition pokemon DSi 3 weeks ago when it was on sale at targ but now i am second guessing our my decisions. everyday i see it glaring down on me from the shelf it is hidden on (BTW it is so visible. i love that jude is so innocent still) taunting me. you see, i do not know what to do with that little box. i'm afraid of how that little box will change our lives forever. i am not ready to fight about time limits and video game ratings. most importantly, i don't want my imaginative jude to turn into a video game zombie.
jude has the best imagination i have ever seen. he loves to play make believe and he plays with his toys, different toys, all his toy, everyday. jude always has some world set up that he is playing in, he even invites greta and ez into his world. even when he is watching the tv or a movie, or playing on kidzui he is still playing side by side. he loves to color and draw, build forts, and he will make up games to play all day long. jude brings his toys or as trevan so gently puts it "crap" where ever we go. he always has a supply of "crap" on hand... really, you should see our car. we are always adding things to his collections. for instance, if we don't have a certain "guy" jude draws them, cuts them out, and then adds them to the collection and then into the rotation of things to be played with. we have to be real careful in these parts as to what we can throw away because everything has a place in jude's world.
jude is incredible
but
jude is also obsessive.
once jude is into something, jude is INTO something. the determination that kid has drives me insane, literally. i have gotten better about standing my ground, but he still knows how to get his way with me and trev. when jude gets into something, it takes over his life. he eats, sleeps, and breathes whatever the obsession is. do you see my dilemma... obsessive/strong willed kid & a hand held video game system? it sounds treacherous.
i know from personal experience that video games are addicting and fun. freak, don't get me started on my years of mastering sonic, beating every super mario level, hours wasted beating aladdin on the sega, dominating mario kart as my alter ego wario, killing it on the original tony hawk, and of course my high school days of playing SIMS with my siblings.
so you see, i am not a video game hater, i love a little video gaming. it's just a lot different now, and i am not sure how i feel about my 6 year old becoming a gamer.
what am i to do?
i am asking you.
is 6 too young for a nintendo DS?
am i doing him a disservice by letting him have one?
am i doing a disservice by NOT letting him have one?
how do set boundaries, without fights?
how do i tell him he can't get the only thing he wants for his birthday?
will i lose my jude forever?
am i worrying too much?
but all his friend/cousins already have them...
am i fighting the inevitable?
who? what? when? where? how?
i am confused and scared.
please, i am BEGGING you, what am i to do?
i have until next friday at 12am....
please!
for the record... trevan is already 100% anti-video games but he's a boring dad. what does he know?
jude has the best imagination i have ever seen. he loves to play make believe and he plays with his toys, different toys, all his toy, everyday. jude always has some world set up that he is playing in, he even invites greta and ez into his world. even when he is watching the tv or a movie, or playing on kidzui he is still playing side by side. he loves to color and draw, build forts, and he will make up games to play all day long. jude brings his toys or as trevan so gently puts it "crap" where ever we go. he always has a supply of "crap" on hand... really, you should see our car. we are always adding things to his collections. for instance, if we don't have a certain "guy" jude draws them, cuts them out, and then adds them to the collection and then into the rotation of things to be played with. we have to be real careful in these parts as to what we can throw away because everything has a place in jude's world.
jude is incredible
but
jude is also obsessive.
once jude is into something, jude is INTO something. the determination that kid has drives me insane, literally. i have gotten better about standing my ground, but he still knows how to get his way with me and trev. when jude gets into something, it takes over his life. he eats, sleeps, and breathes whatever the obsession is. do you see my dilemma... obsessive/strong willed kid & a hand held video game system? it sounds treacherous.
i know from personal experience that video games are addicting and fun. freak, don't get me started on my years of mastering sonic, beating every super mario level, hours wasted beating aladdin on the sega, dominating mario kart as my alter ego wario, killing it on the original tony hawk, and of course my high school days of playing SIMS with my siblings.
so you see, i am not a video game hater, i love a little video gaming. it's just a lot different now, and i am not sure how i feel about my 6 year old becoming a gamer.
what am i to do?
i am asking you.
is 6 too young for a nintendo DS?
am i doing him a disservice by letting him have one?
am i doing a disservice by NOT letting him have one?
how do set boundaries, without fights?
how do i tell him he can't get the only thing he wants for his birthday?
will i lose my jude forever?
am i worrying too much?
but all his friend/cousins already have them...
am i fighting the inevitable?
who? what? when? where? how?
i am confused and scared.
please, i am BEGGING you, what am i to do?
i have until next friday at 12am....
please!
for the record... trevan is already 100% anti-video games but he's a boring dad. what does he know?
Hi Kennan. I am 100% with your hubby. No gaming systems here. Our boy is 5 and I will not give in to peer pressure that everyone else has one. We have a leapster(learning games) and access to an i-pad and phone games that is enough for now! I am all about learning games and I know the ds does not promote that. I have many friends who regret getting there kids one of these too early. We had a Wii and saw our boy start living his life to play it so we sold it and all of the games, problem solved. If he gets obsessive I wouldn't start. Oh the fighting and nashing of teeth there will be to play ALL day! Better to not have the option at all. This is eating at you most likely because the answer is already written on your heart you know Jude better than anyone and what is best for him. He sounds amazing and I would hate for all of that imagination and innocence to be squashed by video games. Can he play others and not have his own? My boy loves the ipad but we do not have our own. It is played on special occasions at the grandparents. Also, I think it is okay to let our kids down sometimes and for them to know that we don't always get everything we want( I certainly don't!). Hope this helps or makes any sense at all. Good luck with your decision.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be me in a few years. Dan becomes OBSESSIVE with video games. It runs in his family. He will seriously play a game every possible hour,minute,second of the day, until he passes the whole game. Thus - we've sold our Playstation and WII {too bad computer games are harder to get rid of...}.
ReplyDeleteBut Dmitri has already asked for a DS, when he saw a 4 year old with one. He always has to stop in the gaming, and then learning game section at Target. I don't want to lose my boy to video games either... but then I worry that he'll be left out. Should I care about that though??! :[
Right now, he plays on the Iphones, and sometimes the computer with me. But I know I'll be in your shoes soon enough :[
I'd say, if you do give it to him - set limits before he even opens it. LOL that's the only advise I have. Good luck! And even if he doesn't get it, he'll get over it, and hopefully move on. Maybe just explain why you don't think it's good for him.
Hmmm... well, you know Jack and his Mario obsession, so I'm probably not the best person to give advice. hehe However, I don't see anything wrong with video games, as long as they are not consuming their life. So here are some ideas:
ReplyDelete1. You could put a cute letter on the box or something that explains all the rules and time limits, and maybe have a place for him to sign at the bottom saying that he'll follow all the rules. That might make him feel more responsible about it.
2. You could have it just be something that he gets to do in the car, but not at home.
3. He could have a small chore list (brush teeth, make bed, clean up toys, do something nice for Greta and Ez) that he has to do before he can play for his set time limit.
But then I also have to tell you that Jack has had his for several months now, and he really doesn't play it all that often. Why? Because the games just really aren't that great. He mostly only play Super Mario Bros. The few other games we've tried are pretty lame, or too hard for him. The iPad games are so much better, more interactive, educational, and much cheaper. Soooo.... if you have an iPad, I say just let him play on that. Maybe give him some cute coupons or something that will let him pick out games that he wants.
Oh, also, With the 3DS out now, Scott thinks they're not gonna be making new DSI games much longer, and you'll probably end up buying a 3DS in a year anyway.
Good luck! : )
okay, i am a terrible mother..i admit it... we have 3 of those things at our house! I held off for a while, but zach was getting teased that he didn't know how to play video games, so yes, i gave into peer pressure. I am just good about the games he can play and for how long! When we go on little road trips it sure keeps them all quiet! You are the mother, you know him the best...whatever you decide will be just fine.:)
ReplyDeleteThis is your Mother...and you worry alot. Which is good and bad. I like Valerie's suggestion of setting the guidelines up front and making them very clear when he is presented with the gift (or in a family pow-wow that evening). Let him know that if there is any argument or crying it will be taken away for x amount of time. I think if YOU remain in control, it will be fine. Let him know that it is a BIG PERSON toy that needs to be monitored by an adult and it is a privilege to use it that must always be earned. Don't let it become a babysitter. You'll be fine and so will he as long as you stay in charge. You are a good Mommy to be concerned. XO
ReplyDeleteps. i love your mom. :)
ReplyDeleteSteve and I talk about this stuff all the time. Technology these days are making it super hard for us parents. Malia is now having friends call my cell phone for play dates. So we recently talked about what the heck we are going to do in a few years when she will need a phone. I totally don't think kids need phones, but it's cheaper to get a cell then a home phone these days!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the DS goes I say you can't keep them away from technology or then they go elsewhere to use it. i say get it for him and set boundaries. DS is the new old mario nintendo. We all had one growing up and look how good we turned out.....haha.
Malia's grandma got her a DS for Christmas and Steve and I were pissed. But it turned out to be a good thing, they have educational games, and she was over it in a couple months anyways. It's nice to have though on trips and long waits.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDE!!
Dearest Kennan,
ReplyDeleteI get a vote, right? I did take care of lot of your 'little person' messes :) high chair trays, diapers, strewn toys, tubby time... I'm not sure how that was so long ago except that I've been married for 26 years and you're 29 - We had some GREAT times together!!!
I don't know Angela and I confess I only read her first sentence BUT I totally agree with her.
This is a long gone battle in our family - my "Judes" are nearly 23 and 25. My others haven't had that same "Judeness" (sometimes I swear you're telling my boy's childhoods when I read your posts on him!)
No gaming systems in our house has been one of the best decisions we ever made. I'm the Trevan, I'm the boring mom - just for the record :) Lane's the softy, he'll give the kids pretty much whatever they want without thinking 25 years down the road. (Like your mom said, you think too much and that's good and bad (I think she said worry, anyway...)
Here's my hindsight - take it or leave it (or pray about it - such a Denise thing to say!) I can say it is a decision we have never regretted, never. (and this was when technology was still, well, what you grew up with.)
1. There was always a friend willing to let my son(s) play theirs while at their house - the interest didn't last long, it's a solitary thing and they wanted to play!
2. There were plenty of wasted HOURS playing for a high score all night on my son's shcmancy dancy too-smart-for-me graphing calculator. Years worth.
3. There was the iPod, the Palm Pilot, not to mention the games on the computers. There was plenty of boundary setting, groundings, squabbles over either being ignored by a sibling/parent or timers set for turns.
4. Not to mention a movie to watch, ('shhh', 'move', 'I can't hear' -me: that doesn't mean you keep turning the volume up! Pause the #(@)% movie, people are more important!
5. And the ever present, "look at me so I know you're listening to what I say and not just giving me a ya, uh huh answer so I'll leave you alone to chase your high score."
Nope, no regrets. I have enough parenting battles without another object that my brilliant, over achieving sons were obsessed with. I couldn't keep up with the other 'systems' disguised as planners, calculators, phones, etc.
Yeah, he'll whine and probably pitch the most ginormous fit ever - but when my sons thank me, my sons that are grown, married men, my sons that are soon to be fathers, I'm grateful that I didn't cave in to peer pressure, grateful that I was willing to be the prude.
You'll know what do to - but I'll add one more thing...if you and his daddy are not on the same page on this one, that is my biggest concern.
OK - one more thing. My siblings are 10, 12, and 14 years younger than I am so their children are significantly younger than mine 11 down to 1. All but two are boys. My Dr. brother with the theater room bought a wii (among other things) for his 4 boys. If anyone can lay down the law, make boundaries, etc., it's my brother and his wife! That has been the cause of more crying, timer setting, parent consoling, cousin jealousy (game over time together) it's totally changed family gatherings.
Last words: I love you. I'll always love you. I'll always hear "helloooo Neese" when the phone rings. You're a fantastic mom with incredible children who are bound for great things! xoxox
Ok so a comment from a random person, Yes I am a blog stalker, I went to LP class of 02. found your blog from friends from HS. Anyways, I have a little boy who will be 5 in Jan. My dad gave him one for chirstmas,at first he wanted to play it a lot so the new rule was. we only charged it on Sunday nights and that battery had to last the whole week, also it had to stay in the car. It has worked well for us and he still loves to play it and never gets board of it like some of his other toys. Only buy 2-3 games dont invest a lot of money into it. stay strong with whatever you decide to do. there is my 2 cents from a random person :)
ReplyDeleteHi. It's me, farmgirl. I'm boring, just ask Robyn. I'm also poor. And grateful for it, lack of finances played a big part in the initial decision to not be a gaming family. Thank heavens. Had I had the money I may not have had the wisdom to say No. It's been a good thing for us. No regrets.
ReplyDelete