dirty little secret.

i am not a cleaner.

this is really an embarrassing subject for me, like horrifying. i want to be a one of "the clean ones" but i am just not. this is not news to anyone who knows me well. in fact, i am sure there have been many discussions in my family about a cleaning intervention with me, and now that i think about it i am pretty sure my mom has tried a number of times and has failed. she use to drop subtle hints but now she is just nice and tells me "your house will be clean after your kids are grown!" or "a clean house doesn't matter" ... i doubt it. i figure that if i publicly announce my weakness in the cleanliness world maybe i can do something about it. i mean the first step on the road to recovery is admitting there's a problem, right?

being clean is in my genes, i know this because i have 1 tidy mother and 3 tidy sisters (yes, paige i have heard you have changed your deviant ways and now you can be put into the tidy category). i am always amazed by what the women in my life homes look like... mine does not even compare, ever never. so embarrassing.

whenever i have had my babies my sweet mother takes a week to stay with us and make things right in my crazy post baby world. i watch her through those days as she makes time to play with my kids, do laundry, tidy everything, run errands, talk to at least 4 of her kids, and have a hearty and healthy meal on the table by the time my husband walks through the door. how does she do this?  i spent the weekend in st. george with my oldest sister and was baffled how she keeps a clean house with 5 kids and her crazy schedule. let me say this, my sister robyn is very good mom and wife. i aspire to be like her, really i do. but lets be honest, at this point, i aspire to be like anyone who is clean. 

you should know also, that i do do some cleaning. the problem is doing the real stuff, like baseboards and blinds (who does that?) or dusting all surfaces and getting to every nook & cranny. i clean bathrooms bi-weekly, i pick up toys ALL DAY LONG, i sweep and vacuum the floors when necessary, and i am usually on top of laundry. also, my kids NEVER look messy and are always clean (jude knows his hair needs to be done before we leave the house and greta knows a bow completes her daily process of getting ready), that's one thing i am OCD about. runny noses and messy hair in public make me nauseous.

SO... with that being said, let me show you my latest creation/endeavour :

yes, ladies, i made my grown ass self a chore chart. i named it clean and happy because maybe it will help me feel better about myself.

i have never abided by one of these things, and i have never created one either. my cousin julie talked about hers a year or so ago and i asked for her chore chart, and a year later i am implementing one of my own, based off of hers. i am actually pretty excited about it.

wish me luck?!?! 

i just want to be clean.

don't judge me and my disgusting ways.

p.s. is anyone feeling charitable and want to come help me organize my life?

2 p.s. if you are wanting your house to look clean, don't buy an old house... THEY WILL NEVER LOOK CLEAN!