four

jude is 4 today....

... and what a handsome 4 year old he makes.

as we close the door on three i can't help but feel a little sad. turning 4 seems like a big milestone for us, jude is no longer my baby.

dear jude,

i love you, especially today, my sweet boy. today you are mine. i cannot believe you are 4 but at the same time it seems you have been mine forever. you are my first born, my son. we have learned so much in our 4 years together and we will continue to learn and love and make mistakes. you have been through so much in your 4 short years. you have grown from my baby to my boy. it has been a trying year for us, we have both cried a lot. please forgive me for my lack of mothering skills and continue to love me for who i am because i love you to the moon.

i want you to stay a little boy forever, just like i wanted you to stay a baby forever. i know its impossible and that you must grow but it breaks my heart to see it happen. i guess i just didn't know it would happen so fast. there are still a few things that keep you my baby and i cherish each and every one. i love that you still love your silky. i love that you still sleep with your favorite toys. i love you still prefer me, always. i love your innocence. i love that you adore your sister and really think she is a princess. i love your passion for whatever you are into at the moment. i love your inquisitive nature (even if it does drive me crazy from time to time). i want you to know i love you jude, just the way you are.

my sweet jude, you are chosen, you are loved, and you are perfect. thank you for choosing us. i love you, forever.

xoxo,

mommie

happy 4th birthday