Round 10: Jude vs. Pulse Dye Laser

i am not quite sure how it is possible that jude has had this procedure done 10 times. i cannot believe we have been fighting his birthmark this long, i was naive to think that it would go away (lighten) with only a few treatments. after all, i was warned that this treatment is only 30% affective at best. i remember telling myself that by the time he was 3 we would be done. well, he is 4 now and we are still battling his birthmark. i will tell you one thing, no matter how many times we wind up doing this, it never gets any easier as a parent.

the thing about jude's PWS is that i don't even notice it anymore and haven't for sometime now. i just see my darling judakins and so do most people who know him. it has lightened some and i guess is not super noticeable but the truth is, it is noticeable and jude is aware of it. at this point he thinks all people have been through what he goes through. he asked me tonight if when i was a baby i had a birthmark too. he doesn't know it is what makes him unique and that it is only him that has been through these procedures. he is the only 4 year old i know that has been under GA 11 times, the only 4 year old i know that gets the living hell burnt out of his face, the only 4 year old that gets strange stares and whispers while his face heals from those burns. he is unique... and right now he doesn't need to know just how unique he and his birthmark are but soon enough he will learn. this will be hard for jude, it will be hard his whole life. we are just doing everything we can as his parents to make him realize that his PWS is not who he is but a part of him and it makes him special and wonderful and perfect. we want to teach him that its not that big of a deal but it is a daunting task in this ever judgemental world.

jude did splendid this time around. if you don't already know jude has a pretty serious case of anxiety that we have been working on for a while and i was worried (i am a pretty anxious person myself) about how he would do this time around. he freaks out about going to the regular doctor who he loves, he freaks about me going to work, and he freaks about going to church. we talked about this procedure for a few days in advance and he seemed okay with it. he was really just concerned about getting frosty the snowman as soon as we were done. this morning as we woke him up to go he was not concerned like he usually is. he knew where we were going and he was okay. once at the hospital he was the most concerned about the mask that they put on him to put him to sleep. jude took the "funny" medicine (versed) easily and drifted off to dreamland with only a few cries. he woke up heavily sedated but not sobbing like he usually is. finally, the anesthesiologist figured out a regime that works! after about 20 minutes in recovery he was fine and ready to go home. jude was ready for his reward and we were eager to reward him.

surely, a boy as sweet and brave as jude should be rewarded with frosty the snowman stuffed animal accompanied by karen and hocus-pocus courtesy of build a bear. jude has been looking forward to this reward for weeks now.

jude loves these guys(anything attached to a holiday is a sure fire hit for our jude). we have already watched the movie 3 times today and he has loved playing along side the movie.

sidenote: look at great go! she is so close to walking and climbing up on everything. the couch is her newest feat.... her flexibility is a strength in this case.

our family spent the evening recovering at nannie's. it was nice to get away and just spend some alone time with my parents. trevan and i are blessed with the best parents in the world. jude has yet to have a surgery where one person from both sides of his grandparents were not there to support him. when we arrive at the hospital his first question is always "where's nannie and papa rog?". we are so lucky.

jude.... thank you for being so brave.

you are a super hero to all that know you.

until we meet again mr. pulse dye laser.....