this is spinal tap

i had a bit of a bad week. while up at bear lake i contracted some crazy virus and was down and out from sunday to sunday. last week is all a bit of a blur. all i know is i got to visit the hospital 3 times (2 ER visits & 1 pulse dye laser for jude) and went to my own doctor once, leaving me with a grand total of $330 just in co-pays. the first time around at the ER it was concluded that i had a cyst. the 2nd time around was a little more trying. my pain now was an 8-9 on the hospital provided pain scale, which in itself is a joke. isn't pain relative? after a CT scan the doctor offered me a spinal tap, i thought they meant this:

but what i really got was this:

all and all the lumbar puncture (as the now call it) was inconclusive. they did take it to 11, though. i don't have a brain tumor and although everyone was sure it was viral meningitis that came up negative too, along with every other random disease/ailment i was hoping to have so i could get better. instead, i have a very pressing appointment with a neurologist concerning my spinal fluid pressure in december, how nice.

you have to love our health care system. instead of finding an answer they send you home with a bottle of percocet and tell you to come back if it worsens, and then when you do come back they will do the same thing again and again. and you wonder why people are addicted to pain meds.... no one knows what transpired in my body last week but i am just glad that today i am a half way functioning human (thanks to pain meds) and on the road to recovery, hopefully. if i never get that virus again it will be too soon.





oh and p.s. don't even get me started on what a JERK greta's eye doctor was today. that added to my pain today. dr. dries is not the friendliest guy.

Round 8: Jude vs. Pulse Dye Laser

i was not myself for this visit to dr. vanderhooft's. really, i don't remember much about the day. i do remember that jude did really well this time around. he knew once we got there what was going on, also we had been discussing it for about a week. once he was back in pre-op they gave him verced at that was heaven sent. dr. vanderhooft isn't too thrilled with the results on his chin, it doesn't seem to be responding to the laser. she upped the frequency and said we'll have to see how he does with it.

upon waking up he was very upset and wanted me to hold him. he settled down after they said we could go. i really don't remember much pass that. my mom took me to the ER after and trev took jude home to recover. i didn't see him much for 2 days but everyone tells me he did great. he likes all the attention he gets from grandparents and aunts and uncles. he is quite spoiled. he is more aware of his PWS this time around. he asks for medicine to be put on it when it starts to hurt, which is nice. he also keeps telling everyone it is getting better. he is so resilient and he is my hero. i hate HATE HATE that i couldn't be there more for him during this one, i need him just as much as he needs me. he really is my hero.

thanks brooke for documenting this for me, somehow you make even this look beautiful.

his face looks better and better everyday. funny, i never thought we would have to go 8 rounds.... i will go however many rounds it takes to make his life better.

i really hope it works.

escape to bear lake

the jackson's cabin (trailers) at bear lake may be the most relaxing place in the world. i will never pass an opportunity to go to bear lake, especially with my favorite family! there was a lot of family drama revolving around our decision to go on this trip and the jury is still out on whether it was the right decision that we made.... we did however have a great time. thanks again dustin and brooke for the invite!

trevan's loot

... me and my buddies

* i guess we know what jude wants for his birthday!

other babies her age may have been bumbo-ing for months but this was a HUGE stride for our little drool bucket gretsie. love her.

a visit to bear lake is not complete without a little gun toting. dustin loves his 45mm and also is a right wing, utlra conservative, NRA supporting, sean hannity lover. just in case you haven't met him.

trevan however, is not a gun lover. thankfully!

remember this post? well, i had to give it a try...

... not so much. note the shell casing flying through the air.

jude had to have a go of it as well. he is darling.

sharpshootersRus....

my favorite 3... tagged

3 last purchases...

1. HD-DVR (how did i live before it?)

2. WAY too much stuff @ naartjie
3. halloween decor

3 last song i downloaded to my iPod...

1. see you again - hannah montana
(so embarrased that i love it...)
2. hot & cold - katy perry
3. i believe in you - neil young

3 favorite movies...

1. gone with the wind
2. moulin rouge
3. godfather 1 & 2

3 things i haven't done yet...
1. eaten fish
2. decided on a presidential candidate
3. been cavity free

3 things i cannot live without...
1. a nap :)
2. crosswords

3. perez hilton

3 favorite dishes...
1. my mom's chop suey
2. chipotle vegetarian burrito

3. broccoli & chicken divan

3 favorite tv shows...

1. the closer & saving grace
2. anything trashy on MTV or VH1
3. project runway

3 last places i traveled to...
1. st. george, utah
2. san fransisco, california

3. yellowstone national park

3 favorite desserets...
1. candy

2. sorbet
3. pumpkin pie

3 things i would buy if money were not an issue...
1. a bigger car

2. a new mcputer

3. a house built in this century

3 wishes...
1. demolish jude's port wine stain
2. resolve greta's weird medical problems
3. be out of debt

3 people i tag...

1. lindsey
2. goldie
3. codi


thanks andrea....

my merm

my beautiful mom turned 54 today and we got to celebrate with her. i love this woman with everything that i am, she is my mother after all. the best part is that she is that one amazing woman to 6 kids and we all adore her. i am pretty sure that this past year has been quite trying for her and i hate that because this woman deserves the world. my 2 biggest fears in life are 1. being alone and 2. my mom dying. she is my hero, literally. is it wrong that i am 25 and still totally dependent on my mom? didn't think so. she needs me to need her!

my mom did this cool balloon ceremony saying goodbye to years past, one balloon for every 5 years. life goes too fast and this demonstrated it perfectly.

minie is quite industrious these days. i love that girl.

papa mike and grets

here's to you mom.
i love you.
(if you are lucky i will bake you a chocolate mousse cake too!)

crazy in santa clara

well, at least us girls have fun when we get together! it was a little bit of mayhem on our visit to st. george (really santa clara) to see the lamoreaux's. the 7 kids was a big deal, but the bigger deal was the 5 kids under 3 and NO husbands. we are all way to reliant upon our husbands. they are good men and help a lot, especially when it comes to putting kids to bed and cleaning up.

what i really needed was trevan to deal jude for he was a little out of control. turns out he does not do so well with a lot of kids, he thinks its totally okay to bite and scratch (2 very becoming traits if you ask me). he and gil fought the whole time but decided to be best friends for the last 1/2 of the trip. poor gilly is almost a whole year younger than him but he is bigger than jude so jude thinks he can play hard with him. not so much.... i yelled a lot at my little buddy and i hated it. i don't like having the bratty child and i don't like being the bratty mom. i will be better my sweet judakins.

the above photo would be a good way to describe our trip, it was ansel adams city. both sisters are EXTREMELY into photography at the moment and are taking a online class from her and had "homework" to do. all these girls do is take pictures (it is brooke's job), they are way more creative than i am and i am totally jealous. one day maybe... pretty much the week consisted of a lot of photo taking and a lot of kids.

the real reason we ventured down south was for this sugar baby's 2nd birthday. he is a sweet boy who loves his mummy. i heart gil.

abraham LOVES babies.

seriously, i must have found him alone with grets like this at least 5 times. he just loves babies. he kept trying to help her sit, poor grets is months from that milestone. don't get me started on her rag doll state, you wouldn't believe how much your vision effects things!

my gretsie

all and all it was a really fun little get away. greta was amazing the whole trip as usual, her behaviour is so unusual for a baby, she is soo good. we laughed a lot and spent time with robyn's friends whom i love. we stayed up late beading with robyn's besties jen & andrea. jen is our favorite new yorker and is always a part of any trip to robyn's. she is nicest person you'll meet and is a great friend to my sister. andrea is whom we all want to be, she is so savvy. you will meet her and want to be her, i promise. i always wish she was my friend, not robyn's. doesn't she know i am better? jk.

*note to self bring husband next time!



p.s. i don't know how robyn does it... 4 kids is a lot.

sometimes....

...the love i have for my kids makes me feel like i am going to explode.

...my life seems too perfect.
...i feel i am in over my head.
...my life feels like it is in fast forward.

...you have to sleep in mommie's bed.

...i have to get this one out of bed and hold her tight. she's too perfect.


and other times, you have to get in the car and go see your sister in st. george. 3 sisters and 7 kids should be entertaining, right? i already miss you trev. until next time....